Another 2 months? Really?

I am getting so frustrated.

I had a pretty major "incident" today (well, yesterday... I just haven't been to bed yet). It was enough to scare my Speech Pathologist and have her cancel the rest of my therapy for the day, not bill me, and send me home.

I want to see my **** neurologist. I'm about to the point where I want to call them and bump up my appointment. I don't want to wait another 2 months. I've already had my MRI, and I can't get my ***** EEG scheduled no matter who I call. I've left numerous voicemails and talked to so many people.

I'm starting to have more "spells" as we shall call them. The fatigue is getting worse, the medication is now starting to lose its magic, and I'm starting to feel even more like shit on a regular basis again. Hey, at least I'm losing weight while I look like a pale, shakey, whiney, loser right?

I can't do things I want to do, I can't get a job. I can't stand for more than a few minutes, I can't walk more than a few feet, I can barely make dinner for my boyfriend, I can't clean my house in a day, but I'm not disabled right? I'm fine. Everything is fine. Everything is perfect. I just need to suck it up and get back to doing everything I was doing before.