Psych Appointment

So I saw my psychiatrist today and he said he can't give me any more medication since he was looking through my chart and my good cholesterol is too low, my pulse is too high on a regular basis, my diastolic BP is too high but my systolic BP is low/average.


He doesn’t feel comfortable prescribing me new meds until I consult with a PCM and have more tests done. He did put in a referral for me to get a PCM (one that is actually closer to me) which is a good thing.


My abdominal pain is not getting any better, which is what caused him to look over my chart in the first place and led him to put the referral in. The abdominal pain is a dull, burny, achy, stabby, just horrible all kinds of pain pain.


He rushed the referral so hopefully I can get in to see a doctor tomorrow and if not I will be going to the ER as I'm almost out of pain medication. Kyle almost called an ambulance today because I was on the floor writhing and crying, throwing things at the door to wake him up (he has been working nights).


He also (my doc), even though he has pointed out new medical problems and my neurological other problems, told me he will not help me file for disability. He thinks I will become trapped even though I have a concrete plan.


Oh, I have a cold too.

Another 2 months? Really?

I am getting so frustrated.

I had a pretty major "incident" today (well, yesterday... I just haven't been to bed yet). It was enough to scare my Speech Pathologist and have her cancel the rest of my therapy for the day, not bill me, and send me home.

I want to see my **** neurologist. I'm about to the point where I want to call them and bump up my appointment. I don't want to wait another 2 months. I've already had my MRI, and I can't get my ***** EEG scheduled no matter who I call. I've left numerous voicemails and talked to so many people.

I'm starting to have more "spells" as we shall call them. The fatigue is getting worse, the medication is now starting to lose its magic, and I'm starting to feel even more like shit on a regular basis again. Hey, at least I'm losing weight while I look like a pale, shakey, whiney, loser right?

I can't do things I want to do, I can't get a job. I can't stand for more than a few minutes, I can't walk more than a few feet, I can barely make dinner for my boyfriend, I can't clean my house in a day, but I'm not disabled right? I'm fine. Everything is fine. Everything is perfect. I just need to suck it up and get back to doing everything I was doing before.

Losing Weight Without Exercise

So my medications make me lose weight. Side effects and all that jazz, partially because I alternate between not sleeping at all/sleeping a lot, and partially because they suppress my appetite and I have to force myself to eat. I am eating healthy, just not as much. I've lost a lot of weight.

I'm already starting to get flab in my arms. I am not cleared for exercise. My BP used to be about 120/70, now it's low. Last time it was checked about a week ago it was 90/60.

I get dizzy, I'm not supposed to do a lot of walking or go places by myself because of the seizures and passing out, and I can't walk even do half a flight of stairs without getting winded.

I still haven't gotten in to a PCM, I'm on a waiting list.

Stupid Potassium!

I swear to G-d, no matter what I do, my potassium levels are always low. I'm going to talk to my Dr and ask for a prescription or something (every blood test I've had has shown low potassium, when I was in the hospital for my surgery it was super low and I had to have a drip for days).

I eat nanners. I eat taters. I eat veggies. Why does my body hate me?

I don't want to just start taking something because of all the meds I'm on. I want to discuss it with him first, kwim? Plus I'm po'.

I called the hospital to check on my blood test results, and they're not in yet, but she said that they've been consistently low every time I've had blood drawn and to call back on Monday. I just found out my dr's have weekly meetings about me.

Speech Pathologist

So I am seeing a Speech Pathologist/Memory person for my TBI stuff and she says that I have "executive memory function" issues and gives me assignments.

I now get to write To-Do list.
And I have a day planner.
I schedule daily cleaning.
But I'm doing better on writing stuff down!
She's super nice, I  love her.