Mmm, Fiber.

Fiber. The most disgusting thing I have EVER tasted. Accidentally drinking a beer with a cigarette butt in it? Way more tasty. Here, enjoy my first fiber experience.

Anyways, today was my appointment at the Gastroenterologist. It went ok, other than sitting in the room waiting for the doctor to come in for over 45 minutes.

She says IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) and dyspepsia. I have to take fiber every day, and I have yet another medication. Told me to take Tylenol and use a heating pad for my pain. Goody!

I am scheduled for a endoscopy and sigmoidoscopy in mid/late January. I'm glad it's after the holidays.

Bone Scan? Guess so.

I guess I'll get some knitting done soon. My blood work came back normal, but the pain is still there. So yay for my pancreas and liver being ok, but boo for not knowing what is wrong, once again. My doctor is sending me for a bone scan. She put me on a new medication to try to help with the pain, and I'm supposed to keep taking the other one since it's helping with the other pain.

Since the one medication can't be taken within 2 hours of my other medication, I now have to take medication 5 times a day. That's going to be fun.

I finally have a PCM!

Finally! I like her a lot. She seems very down to earth and like she cares about me and wasn't just worried about pushing me out the door. I went to the ER before I saw my PCM, which is what rushed my referral even more. The ER didn't do anything but give me a GI cocktail that did nothing for the pain.

I'm in a lot of pain. They think there is something wrong with my liver and pancreas as my enzymes are elevated and my blood work is all screwy. She gave me more medications, which are basically to treat for IBS. They don't seem to be helping with the pain at all. I keep putting a heating pad on it, but it doesn't really help much.

I will be calling in the morning to see if there is something she can do for the pain, because obviously I'm not sleeping. I need to sleep, I have my EEG soon. Although I do need to be sleep deprived for that. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's hard. The Boyfriend is sick, and I feel bad for the poor guy having to deal with my issues too. I just want to feel better, but I know that isn't going to happen any time soon.

My regular pills are losing their effectiveness, but my psychiatrist won't do anything until they figure out what is wrong with my blood work and get it straightened out.

Psych Appointment

So I saw my psychiatrist today and he said he can't give me any more medication since he was looking through my chart and my good cholesterol is too low, my pulse is too high on a regular basis, my diastolic BP is too high but my systolic BP is low/average.


He doesn’t feel comfortable prescribing me new meds until I consult with a PCM and have more tests done. He did put in a referral for me to get a PCM (one that is actually closer to me) which is a good thing.


My abdominal pain is not getting any better, which is what caused him to look over my chart in the first place and led him to put the referral in. The abdominal pain is a dull, burny, achy, stabby, just horrible all kinds of pain pain.


He rushed the referral so hopefully I can get in to see a doctor tomorrow and if not I will be going to the ER as I'm almost out of pain medication. Kyle almost called an ambulance today because I was on the floor writhing and crying, throwing things at the door to wake him up (he has been working nights).


He also (my doc), even though he has pointed out new medical problems and my neurological other problems, told me he will not help me file for disability. He thinks I will become trapped even though I have a concrete plan.


Oh, I have a cold too.

Another 2 months? Really?

I am getting so frustrated.

I had a pretty major "incident" today (well, yesterday... I just haven't been to bed yet). It was enough to scare my Speech Pathologist and have her cancel the rest of my therapy for the day, not bill me, and send me home.

I want to see my **** neurologist. I'm about to the point where I want to call them and bump up my appointment. I don't want to wait another 2 months. I've already had my MRI, and I can't get my ***** EEG scheduled no matter who I call. I've left numerous voicemails and talked to so many people.

I'm starting to have more "spells" as we shall call them. The fatigue is getting worse, the medication is now starting to lose its magic, and I'm starting to feel even more like shit on a regular basis again. Hey, at least I'm losing weight while I look like a pale, shakey, whiney, loser right?

I can't do things I want to do, I can't get a job. I can't stand for more than a few minutes, I can't walk more than a few feet, I can barely make dinner for my boyfriend, I can't clean my house in a day, but I'm not disabled right? I'm fine. Everything is fine. Everything is perfect. I just need to suck it up and get back to doing everything I was doing before.